i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
