Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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