piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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