so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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