Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
