yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
