well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
