hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There r osticjed everywhere
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
