it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
