i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
