The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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