Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
