Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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