You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
