Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
