I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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