Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
