Kiss
Puke
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
