it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
