chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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