Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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