I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
