You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
