I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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