My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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