thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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