i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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