I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
