I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
