All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
