So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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