U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You smell like stripper and shame
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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