Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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