i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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