some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
