Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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