It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
