I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
