please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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