I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
