i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
