Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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