wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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