fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
do herpes really smell.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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