She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
