imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
