I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
