this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
