When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
