But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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