I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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