He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
