Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
