Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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